Manifesting that I will have a book published by one of "the big 5." It will honor my voice as a mom, an advocate and it will serve to educate, to spread awareness and all about pinoy pride and power. One day.
Until that day comes...I am here I am crafting, writing, and creating my space out here. 
​For any one curious about the self publishing process. 
First, there's the "the end" and then a celebration that you freakin' finished a book!! Go YOU!!
Second, you can do a few things: query and send it out to agents or submit to any and all chapbook contests/submission calls, etc. Be forewarned. I had a list of small presses that are my "dream"  journals. They publish maybe 2 - 3 chapbooks a year and their submission fees can vary between $15 - $25. This can all add up. The "cheapest" contest I entered, my fee was waived because I am a POC (person of color). If you are in the marginalized community and cannot afford the reading fees (a fee to have your manuscript read), make sure you look for contests that are able to wave fees. I used this one time and donated that fee to another press. Other presses don't ask for reading fees either, they simply ask you to donate or buy from their catalog. 
Moving one, I gave myself a year before turning to self publishing.  
There are pros and cons of self publishing. I'm not going to create a list for you here (not right now). ONE of the benefits, for me at least, is that I can control every aspect of where this book baby will go. At the end of every "the end," I want you (the audience) to be aware. I am all about advocacy - for mamas and babies. Maternal mental health, PMDD/PME, preeclampsia; these are passions of mine and I want to make sure that the person who is reading my story can go, "wow, it's not just me." I don't ever want someone to feel like they're alone in their darkest thoughts and isolating hour. 
Once you've settled on this path, you need people to help you. I chose a different editor for this one. I have had 2 other poetry editors in the past. Both have been amazing and I have learned so much from either one of them. I would choose either one of them again, in a heartbeat.
I picked this particular one mostly because she is familiar with and have written about chronic illness and anxiety.
PMDD is not a pretty topic. It is heavy. It is messy. It is a different kind of hard. 
And while I'm waiting for the final edits and run through. I am staring at these two I've created below. I use Canva - free and easy to use.
Option 1: to me, sums up what this collection is about. Pieces of me are still in the shadows. Bold font. Simplicity. This isn't a happy topic. 
Option 2: is the hope I want you (the reader) to feel after all the heavy. In the darkness, are lights that can scream or whisper safe passage. You are not alone in this journey. 
So I'd love to ask the Universe - or whoever you are - a vote on your favorite. 

This is a collection I wrote during cycles of happiness, gratitude, rage, anxiety, and depression.This is meant to spread awareness as each high and low points yielded an observation and a note. There is sunshine and darkness. There is PMDD and then there is me.
​

Just added to Goodreads: 
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60654081-pmdd-me

A few poems into this story, I had to pause and take an inventory of my parenting. Ivy Cirillo's poetry memoir was haunting read. In so few words, and in poetry - known for lyrical, beauty and escapism - she depicted a tragic upbringing full of tears, trauma, abuse, alcoholism......and this is where my pause came in...neglectful parents. 
I don't claim to be a perfect parent - far from it - and my heart cannot tolerate reading and seeing neglect from the child's point of view. I'm heartbroken for her. I want to wrap up this child and let her know she is loved, just as she is. And yes, grown-ups, especially moms, are flawed. But there was no excusing the pain that was inflicted, and the burden of the weight this child must have carried throughout her life.
Although she states that Unveiled "was not written to instill pity or sorrow," I felt sorrow for the length of a heartbeat but felt anger above all. Her mother should have protected her. But this isn't her mother's story. It's hers. 
She wrote that she must have been born a writer because "in her darkest hours, she clung to her notebook." Reading through her the first part, "My Story" I'm glad she did just that. She wrote despite of the environment she grew up in....
So yes, don't feel pity or sorrow, but as she wrote hopefully through the third and last part "My Future," be inspired. 

One of my faves, the poem
Relentless

It's hard to find strength
in the pain 
that you've endured,
but you have to,
for this I am sure.

Now, 
I won't tell you
that it will be easy,
but I know for a fact 
that it will be worth it.

~Thank you for putting your bravery into words. ~ 

Reviewer's note: I've never done a half rating but 5/5 is reserved for all my 'rereads.' While I could see a reread in the future.....with this particular book and theme, I would only want to reread the uplifting and encouraging parts. That's not to say I won't revisit the whole thing. Even her poems in the first part "My Story," I felt comforted. 

Ivy Cirillo is an author, mentor, and speaker. She’s a loving daughter and encouraging sister, and she’s built her brand as a blogger, social media marketer, photographer, and podcaster. She loves collecting antique typewriters, concert tickets, and passport stamps and she’ll never turn down a good barcade. She’ll challenge you to a game of darts and encourage you to pursue your dreams in between rounds. She’s forever wandering, but calls Florida home and she self-published her debut book, Unveiled: A Poetry Memoir, under The Orion Publishing House.

Find and connect with her here: 
https://www.ivycirillo.com/
https://www.facebook.com/CirilloIvy/
https://www.instagram.com/cirilloivy/
https://twitter.com/CirilloIvy

The witch: supernaturally powerful, inscrutably independent, and now—indestructible. These moving, relatable poems encourage resilience and embolden women to take control of their own stories. Enemies try to judge, oppress, and marginalize her, but the witch doesn’t burn in this one.

I wasn't feeling this one, honestly. I loved her debut, "the princess saves herself in this one," and I was expecting the same level of slow build up into something like a powerful anthem mid-book, but it never got there, for me. This was almost rushed and jotted down thoughts that got turned into a book. I will say there were some poems that I was like, "ahh this one!" but those turned out to be few and far between. I still love her style and zeal but overall, this was a quick disheartening read. 

growing up a word-devourer & avid fairy tale lover, it was only natural that amanda lovelace began writing books of her own, & so she did. when she isn't reading or writing, she can be found waiting for pumpkin spice coffee to come back into season & binge-watching gilmore girls. (before you ask: team jess all the way). the lifelong poetess & storyteller currently lives in new jersey with her fiancé, their moody cat, & a combined book collection so large it will soon need its own home. she has her B.A. in english literature with a minor in sociology. the princess saves herself in this one is her debut poetry collection & the first book in the women are some kind of magic series. the second book in the series, the witch doesn't burn in this one, will be published in 2018.

her official website is amandalovelace.com.

you can also find her as ladybookmad on twitter, instagram, 

these are the stories of
people i once knew.
they have come and
gone like ghosts in
the night. you might

I was so excited to get a signed copy of this book. I’m a huge fan of poet, Gretchen Gomez. I don’t know how many times I've readlove, & you, her debut poetry collection. From what I’ve gathered about this book is that it’s not pretty and it’s not hopeful. Even as I began to read the first few pages, I was thankful that I didn’t wait until the new year to start with this one. My family and I have had a tough year, to say the least, and to end it with this book, I realized my takeaways after reading this collection isn't to leave the past exactly as that; to have it occupy some memory but rather, confront my fears, continue to journal, and be brazen about new beginnings. In other words, stop apologizing for taking space. Own not just the pretty story about grace but what it took to get me here. But this isn't about me in this review, this is about a woman who have been burned several times over and her story of learning how to walk through fire.

When I think of ghost towns, I think “empty,” “ silent,” but walking through feeling every bit like someone or something is taking you in; watching your every move hidden in the darkness.
This collection isn’t what I’d label as “haunting.” It is a brutally honest walk through this shell of our memories and calling out every single skeleton in our proverbial closet and demanding it/them to show themselves out. There are trigger warnings peppered throughout the book, some ghosts have more than others. My hope for Gomez is this: that she found healing, not just strength in writing this brilliant and unapologetic collection.

However you find yourself in the new year, I encourage and recommend that you pick up this poetry collection. We all have our own ghosts and skeletons in the closet, may you finally confront your hidden fears and mistakes, look them in the eye, and challenge them, 'welcome to ghost town.' 

Gretchen Gomez is a Puerto Rican poet from The Bronx. When home you will find her watching crime shows, cuddling with her dog, or writing--trying to make sense of things. Gretchen is a full-time lover of words. She is the author of love, and you. She's also working on other collections.

You can find her here:
twitter: chicnerdreads
instagram: chicnerdreads
blog: chicnerdreads.wordpress.com
tumblr: chicnerdreads.tumblr.com

This is my first endeavor of publishing a book of poems composed by me. I have put a piece of my heart and soul in form of words. Hoping to touch the reader's heart.

I read this collection over the summer and felt like it matched the theme of June: promising, carefree, lovely and all things random. But then June turned to July and our family got swept in a whirl of hospital visits, prayers and pouring over Dr. Google. I stopped reading poetry for fun - which is a shame. 
The recent news and grief stricken faces on TV, I needed something airy, something wild and fun. I follow Hiya on Instagram and love what she posts, and I remembered that I hadn't gotten around to doing her review. It was a treat to revisit her words of lighthearted musings which brought back beautiful memories of this summer. 
This was such a great debut! Well done, Hiya! 

Vachaknavi Sarma aka Hiya is an automobile designer by profession. She belongs to a small town of Digboi, in the state of Assam in North Eastern India. She presently lives in Manchester, United Kingdom. 
She writes poetry in her spare time. She has been writing for the past 5/6 years. Wild Imagination is her first publication. It is a collection of her very first poems.

I am in love with this collection, I've read it twice already and plan on adding it to my reread pile soon. If you've never read any of Cheyenne Raine's collections, you are really missing out and I recommend that if you want to immerse yourself in all that is whimsical and powerful and fierce, pick this. I'm a huge fan of her light and immense talent. I loved that she wrote with such loyalty and pride for her culture that it made me weep.

Some things worth mentioning:
While I'm not fluent in Spanish, I find that I can read better than I speak. This collection is mostly bilingual, but don't let that intimidate you!! There was enough context within the poem that will make you understand it. I didn't get a chance to read the English version, but Spanish is such a rich and beautiful language that meaning of the poem will be different as some words don't really translate well. 

​​***I received an advance reader copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I am not required to write a positive one. These thoughts and opinions are my own.***

cheyenne raine resides in the san antonio light, pulling warmth and bliss into her lower-case lettered poetry. she writes the beauty amongst every scene, lacing diction to create vivid pictures. she publishes her work consistently on her website and sends little letters through email. raine is the author of several books, including maroon daydreams and charcoal thunderstoms.
Find her here: ​www.rainepoetry.com/

Salome and the Battle Poems is a poetry collection that explores the weaponization of art to heal and protect the body and soul of the oppressed, the mentally ill, and the disempowered. Salome is a biblical figure, mythologized here into a radical symbol of women’s liberation and empowerment. The collection is divided into three sections: vengeance, tenderness, and photosynthesis. This structure reflects the process of overcoming, the alchemy of transforming righteous rage and suffering into power and true healing, and the precious raw love at the center of it all that we must protect and nurture at all costs—no matter how deeply it’s nestled between anger and armor.

This was quite a read! The imagery, the pacing, and for compelling words strung together like this: 
Call it sin.
Call it slut.
I'll take the head and call it even. (Salome)
Or this
& every morning
I strip the lonely 
from my longing arms
and stra the warpaint on
my grieving, grinning face. (the Alchemist)
Although, I have several favorites, this collection packed a powerful punch and I loved both the journey and the empowerment that came from it. I'll be on the lookout for more from this poet! Well done, Tyler Rose Mann. 

​​***I received a copy in exchange for an honest review. I am not required to write a positive one. These thoughts and opinions are my own.***

Tyler Rose Mann is an internationally-based multidisciplinary artist. Born in Brooklyn, NYC and raised in Mount Vernon, New York, she currently lives in Chiang Mai, Thailand and spends her time writing, painting, and volunteering with causes that promote environmental sustainability and human rights, with a focus on women’s issues. She has discovered power and healing in art, and hopes that her words can be lifelines for the wounded and weapons for the disempowered. Visit www.tylerrosemann.com to watch her live performances, explore her visual art and nonfiction writing, or book her for a commission or show.

​Through the eyes of a monster or a warrior. Beneath the soil where evil lives or across the sea in different lands. Against a force that none can win or held by a lover's hand. Each adventure begins with you, guided by a Mad Lord's rambling. The debut collection of Poetry and Short Stories by Lord Huey.

The ramblings of a mad lord was a fun read with its twists and turns, haunts, and even sighs. While I appreciated his poetry, it was his short stories that I loved! Author, Logan Hughes did an excellent job painting a picture for you within a small window and within each short, I hoped for a continuation but was satisfied with each ending. What a debut!

SPOILER: My favorite was 'the child' since I have that weird and disturbing fear that my children may one day turn on me....or maybe I just watch too many zombie movies and children are the best and worst zombies. 

​Logan Hughes is a writer and photographer from Miami, FL, currently traveling the USA researching and gathering inspiration for his next publication. Writing under the name Lord Huey, his self-published “Ramblings of a Mad Lord” is a collection of short stories and poems that takes readers on an adventurous discovery of the struggle between good and evil in our own minds. After a life altering event, he decided to redirect his lifelong passion for creating intricate worlds filled with history, adventure, philosophy, and inquiry into human nature back from developing games to his childhood passion: writing. Making it his purpose and joy in life, it inspired his motto “Creare Sine Metu” or “Create without Fear” which is the driving force that fuels his work. His photographs serve as inspiration for his written creations, offering a beautiful, sometimes mysterious, backdrop to his stories. You can learn more about Lord Huey, read his blog, connect to him on social media or sign up for emails about new and limited edition releases via his websitewww.lordhuey.com

The mermarium is a place where mermaids are exploited for entertainment and profit. This novel in verse tells of four connected stories of sisterhood, love, and the difficult choices of four mermaids who experience the mermarium in its evolution from neglectful aquarium to rehabilitating rescue center. The stories within are of mermaids who love men, mermaids who love mermaids, and mermaids who love freedom.

The Caged Creature Chronicles tell the stories of mythical beings trapped for the sake of human entertainment.

I absolutely loved the stories that poet Amanda N. Butler crafted here. Four mermaids in this space of depravity and greed and brokenness, and each creature manages to find some strength within themselves to survive. I've never read a verse novel and now I'm not sure why, but it was captivating in its simplicity and packaging. And in its' effortless style, Butler hooked me (pun intended) within the first few lines. Quite imaginative and emotionally captivating.
​I can't wait for more mermaids!!

​Amanda N. Butler started writing poetry in 2005 and never stopped. She is the author of chapbooks with Dancing Girl Press and a microchapbook with Origami Poems Project. Her poems have also been published with Haikuniverse, Hedgerow, poems2go, and others. She holds a BA in English and an MBA in Marketing.

Jessica Mehta is poet who writes without shame about body, race, and belonging. There's both an unflinching boldness and an unexpected tenderness to the way she treats the rich cast within these pages — the ghosts of past selves, lost loves, and departed family. Constellations of My Body takes readers on an open-hearted journey through life's fires asking what we inherit and what we make ourselves, what it means to be native, to be other, to feel lost and, ultimately, to belong.

I read this on the road, and the expanse of the open horizon, the bouts of construction sites along the way, was a perfect setting for all the stories written here. Jessica Mehta is harsh in her observations about love, loss and life, in general. Her brutality in her words gave me pause in that perhaps I look at life in my own naive way. But I liked her honesty. I liked that Mehta was able to speak her truths, her bitterness, and questions - and perhaps answers -  to an overall purpose. Which begs the question, what is our purpose, if not to survive one overwhelming event after another and celebrate life, in all its darkness, and grittiness. Some of us are made with tenacity, with a poet's keen sense of observation and this need to write it all down. 
This collection of musings, facts, travels, and a life lived is richly woven in this haphazard beautiful tapestry of words. 

​***I received a copy in exchange for an honest review. I am not required to write a positive one. These thoughts and opinions are my own.***

Jessica (Tyner) Mehta, born and raised in Oregon and a member of the Cherokee Nation, is the author of ten books including the forthcoming Savagery by Airlie Press (poetry), Drag Me Through the Mess by Unsolicited Press (poetry), and You Look Something by Wyatt MacKenzie Publishing (literary fiction). Her previous books include Constellations of My Body by Musehick Publications (poetry), Secret-Telling Bones by The Operating System (poetry), The Wrong Kind of Indian by Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing (literary fiction), as well as the poetry collections Orygun, What Makes an Always and The Last Exotic Petting Zoo by Tayen Lane Publishing. Jessica authored the business book 100 Ways to Make $100k with Your English Degree, which has been featured on numerous podcasts including JenningsWire and World Outsourcing Solutions.

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/ndnS4VAGEtwitter.com/ndnS4VAGE
 Website: ​https://jessicamehta.com/jessicamehta.com/