Leila Tualla: Mama, Author, & Advocate
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                 a blog for all things motherhood                               

Blog: reflections

10/30/2021

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I had my 20th High School reunion a week ago. I must admit, I wasn't excited to go and had to be prompted multiple times by my husband to just show up. It wasn't that I had a terrible experience, far from it, and perhaps I don't even truly understand my own hesitation. I obviously am not the same girl who walked down those halls. I barely remember any of it. The parts I do remember were confined within the auditorium and backstage. I loved theater. It wasn't necessarily the lights and applause, those were just bonuses. I loved theater simply for the idea that I got to be someone else for the length of rehearsals and the show. I got to be loud. I got to be quiet. A princess. A snob. A myriad of different people over the course of 4 years. 
I got to explore. And that was my key takeaway.
I had this amazing avenue where I could be angry or sad, or extremely funny or bold. 
And I miss that. 
I miss having that escape and exploration. Mind you, I do have my moments and usually they're expressed in my writings. I get to explore different characters and find their foundation........and while I don't get the satisfaction of an applause, I do find closure in writing 'the end.' 

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Theater was my second home. And I am grateful for having those moments (good and bad). I do remember my 18 year old self wanting to explore and write. I wonder what she would think about me? 
​I'm still writing. Still musing and observing. I don't have this overwhelming need for validation or applause. I still find those quiet moments outside to reflect. I hope she's proud of this life we've lived.
​I sure am. ​


Dear past self,

I would be remiss if I didn't list out your accomplishments over the course of 20 years:
  1. Married for almost 14 years
  2. Survived pregnancy complications to have 2 amazing humans
  3. Found your voice in advocacy
  4. Wrote a novella, a ya romance, a memoir and a chapbook to date
  5. Has been published in various journals, presses, anthologies
  6. While it may have taken a while, you got your degree
Somewhere in those 2 decades, are a kaleidoscope of the people I was and needed to be. ​
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    Hi, there!

    I drink too  much coffee, read too many books, and in between raising miracle babies, I find time to write.


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Hi there! Here's a quick bio

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Leila Tualla is a Filipino-American poet and author based in Houston, Tx. Leila’s books include a YA contemporary romance called Letters to Lenora and a memoir/poetry collection called Storm of Hope: God, Preeclampsia, Depression and me. Her poetry is featured in several mental health anthologies and she is currently working on a poetry collection based on Asian American stereotypes and identifies. Her chapbook “pmdd & me,” will be out this Spring 2022. ​

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  • HOME
  • about me
  • Blog
  • News & bookshelf
    • Media
    • Books >
      • Letters to Lenora
      • Love, Defined
    • Poetry >
      • PMDD & me (poetry chapbook)
      • Storm of Hope
    • Anthologies >
      • The Sacred Feminine II
      • The Poetry Marathon 2021
      • Remnants of Home
      • Poetica II
  • ADVOCACY
    • RESOURCES for PMDD warriors >
      • IAPMD
    • Community resources for moms >
      • Pregnancy and Postpartum Support
      • 2020 Mom
      • Preeclampsia
      • Momma's Voices
      • Shades of Blue Project
  • Contact