Something about milestone birthdays that almost always makes us look back at our entire existence and wonder......have I accomplished everything I wanted to do before insert milestone year here. 

While in 20s, I was still figuring out what I wanted in life. From pre-nursing student to get me out of here however it takes. I moved around. Went to 3 different schools. Found religion. Found love.
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I was 29 1/2 when I had my first baby. Almost 34, when I had my second. Motherhood, in all its ups and downs, strengths and weakness found me in my 30s.
This was quite literary a life changing, life giving, life persevering decade. 
But as I approach my 40s, I still have this need to look and ask myself, "have I done everything I wanted to do up until this moment?"

I can check off author, writer, teacher. I can check off some travels, not all...never all. I am grateful for every single opportunity of friendships that have come and gone, of books and stories that I'm able to pass on to my littles. But there were things in life that I've always wanted to do....but came up with a dozen excuses not to do them.
And as I'm a little neurotic and have 6 months to count down to the big 4-0 and I thought. Would I have to wait another decade countdown to accomplish these tasks - simple as they may be?

Behold, another list of things I wanted to do, wanted to pick up but in my wayward distracted self, I've somehow forgotten this list. I did add some of my 22 for 2022 to this and I am aware that some of these are not "one and done." I want to continue and carry some (like wanting to be Lucy Liu, get a black belt and wield a kantana) into the next decade. I found my own inner strength  as a postpartum depression and preeclampsia survivor in my mid-30s.
This decade - 40s - I want to be the badass warrior that I know I am. 

On this MLK jr day (& impending milestone birthday), I am reflecting on legacies.... what we leave behind & what we hope & dream for our children.

I hope to pass on kindness, leave a legacy of gratitude & goodness. But tangibly, I'd like to leave something more than the imprints in their hearts.

I am a writer & advocate.
I have essays & poems & stories of motherhood, of faith that they can find & wrap themselves in.

I also come from a mama who has taught me to cook w love. I'm no
foodie. I'm quite picky, actually. But certain smells & taste bring me back to my home country 🇵🇭. I remember the fish ball vendor right outside my school. I vaguely remember the fish market or the Santol trees that grew up and out in my neighbor's yard. I can barely remember the taste of spaghetti with hotdogs but every time I make spaghetti for my kiddos, I often wonder what faces they'll make should a hot dog make an appearance in their pasta. 😂😂

I remember certain things with clarity but as a 9 year old who left, my memories have lost focus 30 years later.

What I know today are my childhood in East Tx & my mom's eggrolls & pancit that I've been trying to replicate. I remember food from Filipino parties we held at someone's house & the whole community of Filipinos would gather.

A few years ago, I asked my mom to write down in her handwriting, recipes she's made for us over the years & some that she's "perfected," in most recent years.

I'm going to attempt to make each recipe from here & hope to impart a more lasting one for my kiddos... that food not only feeds us & can bring us comfort but the stories that came from the kitchen they were made in & the way some recipes get passed down... those I hope they'll make time to explore & remember. Whatcha cooking today?
And yes, I will share whatever I cook here. ❤️❤️