Motherhood Series #1: Tribe
I really do miss blogging and from time to time, I revisit the old blog (tuallaleila.blogspot.com) and go through each post waiting in the draft pile. I haven't made the jump to fully revive it. Whenever I feel like I'm in a "good" place to finally get down to writing and scheduling, something distracts me and I'm off. But I'd love to try again and per my wayward and distracted little personality, I'll blog once a week (Wednesdays) here and break that down into different series. A bit ambitious for me, but I'm up for anything!
So today, I present the first in my motherhood series. I'm a mama and I love getting to know other mamas to find tips and tricks and "hacks" or basic survival + wine stories. One of the things I'm exploring is this need to simultaneously leave the house and make needed friendships or stay in pjs all day long and entertain myself + kids because friendships, especially in your mid-30s are complex and truly an effort for everyone on board.
But so much is made about needing/having a "tribe." What do you do when you don't have one? I've lived in Houston for almost 5 years and it took a while for me to find friends. I signed up for our neighborhood book club, left the book club, got invited to another one, left that one only to form a solid crew of booknerds. We're a team comprised of single mamas, grandmas, working and stay at home mamas, and a single ladies. It's been a lovely connection but our only get togethers because of everyone's schedules are once a month. However it's always much appreciated and needed.
I have done the "playdate thing" and walked around the playground hoping some other mom would look at me and go, huh, there's a friend. But it's always taken a few awkward tries to find the "right mom friend." It's almost like dating but you have to put not only your best foot forward but hope that your child gets along with theirs.
Rather than continue to make this post into a whiney lamentation snippet, I will share my recent epiphany with you. It was the moment I knew I finally found the "right group."
On one of our lovely book club monthly chat, I was FINALLY comfortable enough to pour my heart out to one of my fellow booknerds and she said, "put me on the list." Whatever I need, whenever I needed help, if there is a list, put her there. I cried.
Isn't that something? For another person to listen to your brokenness and instead of giving advice or a talking to, she offered unconditional support.
Put me on the list to add when you need a shoulder.
Put me on the list for when you need a break to breathe.
Put me on the list for anything.
Mamas, if you have no one - put me on the list. I am an email or a message away. I offer a shoulder. A stranger to vent to, judgement free. A prayer warrior for when you need to be lifted up and loved up on.
Sending you much love and light - Leila
I drink too much coffee, read too many books, and in between raising miracle babies, I find time to write.
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