Review: We're Not Okay: Modern-Day Harm Reduction in Christian Parenting by Leah Grey

Synopsis

What every parent needs to know in a world full of drugs, drinking and gasp! Sex.

Written from her experience as a Christian "wild child", now a mother and the wife of a recovered addict, Leah Grey sheds light on her childhood rebellion and how her life was ultimately saved- by finding her true identity in Christ. 

If you're a Christian parent struggling with how you're going to successfully raise children in an increasingly sex-crazed, sin-filled, oh-my-goodness what can we do kind of world, this short book is one you'll want to read! With chapters like, "Wake Up and Smell Satan's Coffee", "The Truth about the Technological Era" and "We All Get It Wrong Sometimes" she addresses the problem of insecurity in our children (and their parents!) and how it leads to drugs, drinking and sex, what godly boundaries look like and where our children are really being influenced. 

This is not a parenting book filled with "to-do" lists and "top ten ways to"... it's one girl's testimony to the importance of teaching children how to find identity in a broken world. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

-Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Review

We all have an opinion on parenting. We all base assumptions on what we see at the playground, during and after the school drop off/pick up rush, at restaurants, etc. Everywhere we see a family, we unconsciously compare ourselves to how other people parent. As if there was a bar of measurements or a winning look that screams, PERFECT PARENTING DONE RIGHT HERE. In truth, we all have our bad days and our good days. And even though we know in our hearts we're doing "alright" for ourselves and for our children, this comparison thing drives us. 

Leah Grey tells us a few things:
1.) You need to stop comparing your parenting styles to other people's parenting styles. 
2.) There is no perfect way to parent. 
3.) Let's reexamine this thought about doing "alright" as parents. Wouldn't you want to be better?
Being better parents means putting, and asking, and letting God into our parenting, and maybe trusting that He can do so much more for our children than you and I could ever imagine. Our children aren't really ours but God's. We truly only have our children for a short amount of time, and God has them for a lifetime, and then the rest of eternity. Over the course of their time with us, we need to make sure to put God into every aspect of their life, so when the time comes to 'let go' of the reins, their foundation in Christ has been set. 

At the end of each chapter, there are discussion questions that let us reexamine how we are to our children. Do we engage with them? Are we on our phones all day long? 

Sidenote and this one hit me hard: that we - those of us in our early thirties - "we are the end of an era. The last generation to know what it's like to play outside all day long....the last to use an encyclopedia, or to the library....the last to hear stories about World War I and II, straight from the mouths of veterans." Just sit on that for a moment. Our parents never needed to worry about social media and how that affects our teens. Our parents never needed to worry about having complete access to the things we shouldn't have access to, on our persons. Our children will never know the type of innocence you and I may have experienced in our childhood. And then that part about Paul Harvey's speech....CHILLS. I was shocked and saddened and it's no wonder that motherhood has taken up flak in today's society. 
 
Let's move on. Leah sounds like that awesome friend who is honest about her past realities of being a wild child and then finding Grace in the beautiful mess. She's the kind of friend who will not only pray for us, but hold our hands to tell us that we need to be putting God first, and foremost in our lives. We need to actively seek Him, and have our children come to Him daily. Don't you want that kind of friend who cares about our souls and our children's souls? I know I do. I love the friends that I can message or call up and say, 'please pray for me.' They don't hesitate. They pray. That's the kind of thing you need in your motherhood tribe. The kind of friendship that tells you to stop comparing yourself to the way other people parent. The kind who will lead us back to the truth and tell us to ask God for wisdom. The kind of wisdom that no one else can give. We need to have the kind of friend that will stand in front of us, look at us in the eye, and say, "we're not okay."

*I received this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own. 

About the Author

Leah Grey moved to New York City full of hopeful aspirations until her husband went into long-term treatment for addiction. Unable to afford to stay, she picked up her childhood dreams and moved back to her rural, Canadian beach town with her two young children. From rooftop city skyline views to her parent’s basement, in the darkest time of her life, she created Grey Ministries to support, encourage and empower women with loved ones who struggle with addiction. With a practical faith-based approach, she challenges popular beliefs about addiction while teaching women in crisis how to find God’s peace within the storms of life. In March 2016, she launched her website, LeahGrey.com and online peer support community, “Live, Love, Hope”.
Join by visiting http://leahgrey.com/livelovehope. ​

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